I have to admit, my travel schedule is without relief lately. It is for the “greater good” of my career. At least, that is what I tell myself. Before you moan in anxiety for me, I will confess one of the days this past week was devoted to golf. Much to my enjoyment, the group I was with didn’t care that I don’t know nor want to know anything about golf. Instead, we laughed like loons, lost balls in shrubbery and were voted the noisiest team in the tournament. What was even better was my phone didn’t have good reception on the course. I missed much of the days trivial messages and instead found a zen like peace while raking the sand-traps along the way. One of my teammates had an uncanny capability to land his ball square in the middle of every trap the course had to offer. My balls never got that far.
I got a much needed break playing golf. Hence, that is why I featured yet another ball above. It’s another nod towards fun.
Two weeks ago I was in my friends garden and the maple tree was dropping seeds all around us. Thifp, thifp, thifp as they twirled like little helicopters in search of fertile ground. I felt an excitement for them as it is a dance of taking root, a beginning. Admittedly, some will grow in the garden and my friend L. will end that adventure in favor of her preferred plantings. Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is never a good thing. Still, there are others that the wind will carry across the street where the chances are greater of growth going undisturbed for years to come.
I have to admit, my blog is a bit like those seedlings. It was originally started as a way to voice my cancer story. I managed to have a mastectomy and a hysterectomy without notifying the company I work for. Five weeks of vacation used well will mask the most intrusive of operations. Statistics are that most women don’t keep the same job they have when diagnosed. Part of it is they move on and part of it is they are moved on. Adding to my own fear of advertising on the job was the fact that of the first 10 friends I told, two walked away immediately. I knew as I was telling them they were pulling away. It was as though I had died right then and there. I’m in sales, I can’t afford customers pulling away. So, I kept the ordeal to myself and am pleased to have done so. No one at work tilts there heads and ask, “How are you?” with a long pregnant pause afterwards.
My secret did need a voice and that is how I came here to write openly about things, connect with others whose history is much the same as my own. It has been a great joy. Of course, the surprise is, many others I have connected with love photography or just the written word as I do. I didn’t expect to have such a large conversation with so many different people.
The thing is, what was so important 5 years ago isn’t today. I think my seedling blog took root across the street and is growing a bit wild. I’ve long since lost the focus and am not even sure it was ever really clearly defined. Instead of taking out the pruning shears, I thought I’d let it grow organically to see what happens.
The point of all this is to admit openly, I’m finding my way and to thank you for keeping me company as I do!